So my mental state is pretty much blowing up in my face right now and there's not much I can do about that because god i knows I don't have a luxury to just go to the hospital for a couple of weeks to get my shit together. No unlike most people my age who get to go to college and have fun I work a full time job that's probably going no where but fuck me College isn't going to do shit for me except put me in debt.
Speaking of debt I might be in medical debt now. It;s a small chance but enough to trigger a third break down last night, so yeah fun.
Aside from that I realized I won;t be able to afford to move out unless my fiancee finds another job so now movie out is on old too.
Honestly I don;t know Im posting this because I literally don't even feel safe on any of my social media outlets for a lot of reasons.
The only good thing is that Im actually a little less bitter about Youmacon since my hotel mate offered to help me with my constant issue of hating my body to much to cosplay. She's a little bigger but is like so hot in all her cosplays (Okay i think she's always hot but cosplays puts it over the edge) and she's an amazing make up artist so that might actually go well.
Of course I'm still falling back and forth between feeling like no one likes me and feeling like I'm that friend who only got invited because I just happened to be there and no one could say no but at least I have a car (That was my role in high school don't ask).
Anyone bitching over. I'm off for the rest of day and then work till next tuesday.